I think we can probably all agree that your life might be different if you decided to stop comparing yourself to others.
Over the years, I've compared myself to others plenty of times. I've compared myself to others when it came to school, looks, money, and more. I know that sounds bad, but without acknowledging that, it would be hard to stop.
Many people compare themselves to others too.
In fact, everyone has done it at one point in their life.
People often compare themselves to others to determine how well they are doing in life and base their personal value on that. However, that usually doesn’t lead to feeling too good about yourself. Plus, who actually wants to judge themselves in a negative way?
While in some circumstances it can be motivating and inspiring to compare yourself to others, but in most circumstances it is negative and can lead to:
- Debt, such as when you're trying to keep up with the Joneses and buy the same expensive things that other people are buying.
- A feeling of defeat, like when you feel that you aren't as good as someone else.
- Unhappiness, in that the process of comparing yourself to others is neverending.
- A waste of time. If you spend all of your time comparing yourself to others, you will never have enough time to do what you really want. Comparing yourself to others can take valuable time and moments away.
To put it simply, by comparing yourself to others, you are holding yourself back.
Now, I know that just telling you to stop comparing yourself to others is easier said than done. In today's world, with social media and how everything seems to be on full display for the world, it can be easy to compare yourself to others.
But, you need to stop doing it in a negative way.
By doing so, you'll be able to move on with your life, reach your goals, be happy for others, and more.
Sure, you may not be able to reach a goal as quickly as someone else or it may require more hard work, but that doesn’t mean that everything is impossible for you. Everyone is on a different path, and there are people who are better or worse off than you.
Instead of comparing your path to those around you, you should focus on what you can do to make your dream a reality.
Here is how you can stop comparing yourself to others.
Understand why comparing yourself to others can hold you back.
The first step to stop comparing yourself to others is to realize that comparisons are often negative and that most of the time they do not help.
You should think about why you feel the need to compare yourself to others, and think of how that may be impacting you. By realizing these things, you'll be able to move forward and stop wasting your time with comparisons.
As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Be happy for others.
Instead of feeling jealous or like it's a competition between you and whoever you are comparing yourself to, you should just be happy for the success of others.
Good things can happen to other people, it doesn't mean that your life is any less important. Plus, by being happy for others, you'll learn to accept yourself and let more positivity into your life.
Be motivated, not competitive.
Instead of feeling jealous or competitive when comparing yourself to someone else, you should instead turn that emotion into inspiration and/or motivation.
The next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone, you could think about how you could possibly do something similar (only if that's what you truly want to do, of course). You can use their achievements as inspiration for your own life and goals.
As you can see, comparing yourself to someone else doesn't have to be entirely bad, as long as you use that process for positives means.
Take a break from social media.
Social media can be fun and all, but for the most part, you are just seeing carefully selected pieces of someone's life.
While that can be great, some people allow it to drag them down.
If you find yourself feeling jealous or negative when you are on social media, then you may want to take a break from it until you figure out how to turn that self-doubt into inspiration. This way, you can stop comparing yourself to others.
You may find yourself comparing yourself to others because you lack self confidence.
Some believe that confidence is something people are born with and that a person cannot learn how to be confident.
I used to feel the same way. While I’m not as confident as I would like to be, I am a fairly confident person and I believe that has helped me a lot in life. That sounds odd to say, butI am confident enough to say it!
I believe that gaining confidence can help you as well. Learning how to be confident can lead to getting the job you want, making more money, reaching your dreams, public speaking, meeting new people, networking, managing a business or employees, traveling the world, and more.
As you can see, gaining confidence can help a person in many, many different ways.
Plus, by being confident with yourself, you will learn how to stop comparing yourself to others because you'll already believe in yourself.
Learn more at Be More Confident And Get What You Want In Life.
Take control of your finances.
Money is a leading cause of comparison.
Often, you may feel stuck with your current life because of some sort of financial reason. This happens to all of us.
And, this may lead to comparing yourself to others.
By paying off your debt, making more money, not living paycheck to paycheck, budgeting better, and more, you may feel free to reach for your dream life because you won’t feel controlled by your finances.
Be positive and happy with who you are.
Many people find themselves comparing themselves to others because they feel unlucky or sad about their situation.
Everyone has something that might make them sad, angry, scared, etc., and I understand that in some circumstances it can be quite difficult to see the positive or to be happy for yourself.
However, no matter how life may be going for you, I believe that a positive outlook can help to improve your life. It’s all about being grateful for what you already have.
Being negative causes limitations. If you think you cannot do something, then you most likely will not. Negative thoughts can make you feel stuck, they can make you feel like there is no way out of your problems, and that you have zero options.
On the other hand, being positive can help you realize that you are able to do things, that you are in control of your life, and that little things will not kill you. Being positive will also help you move on and deal with stressful situations better.
There is no such thing as the perfect life.
No one is perfect.
Once you realize that, you'll find that comparing yourself to others is wasted time because everyone has a different path, including you.
Instead, you should accept your past and present, and realize that you can make changes for the future if you desire to do so.
Remember, you should never compare your beginning to someone else's middle. You don't know what they've been through, and instead you should be happy for other people's accomplishments.
Think about your dream life.
To stop comparing yourself to others, you may want to think about your dream life. This may help you realize that everyone's on a different path, and that you should be creating your own path to reach happiness and success.
You should think about different things such as:
- What does it take to reach your dream life? Do you need to go to school? Pay off debt? Learn something new?
- What will your action plan be?
- Why is what you’re currently doing no longer working for you?
- What excuses are you currently making?
- What are the risks? What will you have to overcome to reach your dream life?
- What are the positives of reaching your dream life? What is success to you?
How could you stop comparing yourself to others? How has it impacted your life?
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Filed Under: Budget, Debt, Life, Minimalist, MotivationTagged With: Budget, Debt, Life, Minimalist, Stop comparing yourself to others
If you are like me, you probably catch yourself frequently falling into the ever-alluring yet emotionally-dangerous trap of comparing yourself to others. According to social comparison theory, we do this in an attempt to make accurate evaluations of ourselves. But at what cost? While comparison can be a valuable source of motivation and growth, it can also spin us into a tail-chasing frenzy of self-doubt. With the explosion of social media giving us access to continuous material upon which to compare ourselves, our attempts to keep up with the Joneses have moved beyond the neighborhood and onto the web. This makes it especially important, now more than ever, to think about the downside of using others as a benchmark for our own worth.
Here are three reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others.
1) It's Damaging To Your Sense Of Self
Mark Twain said that "comparison is the death of joy," and the science agrees. Research has found that comparing breeds feelings of envy, low-self confidence, and depression, as well as compromises our ability to trust others. While downward comparison, comparing ourselves to those less fortunate, can provide some benefit to one's sense of self, even this form of comparison comes at a price. It requires that we take pleasure in someone else's failures or misfortunes in order to feel adequate, which can fuel mean-spirited competitiveness versus collaboration; jealousy versus connection. When comparing leads you to devalue yourself or others you've entered dangerous territory.
2) What You Are Comparing Against Is Inaccurate Information
Let's face it: What people present to the outside world is usually an edited version of their reality. When someone asks you how you are doing, how often do you respond by saying, "my husband is driving me crazy, I'm feeling like a failure at work, and I'm just about ready to lose my mind"? Instead, you probably bite your tongue and say "things are really great!" A recent study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin confirmed that people are less likely to reveal their negative emotions than their positive emotions. Additionally, the study found that people tend to overestimate the presence of positivity in the lives of others, while they misinterpret or fail to detect negative feelings in others. So not only is what's being delivered an incomplete picture, we tend to distort the information we do receive -- a double whammy. So next time you find yourself comparing to someone else stop and ask yourself if it is really fair to compare when you don't have all of the information. As Steve Furtick explains, "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."
3) It Doesn't Actually Help You Accomplish Your Goals
Ruminating about how someone else is better looking, has more friends, or is more successful than you is both time-consuming and ineffective. Being hard on ourselves actually zaps motivation and decreases goal completion. If you really want to live a life that feels fulfilling you need to dedicate your time and energy to your own values. To get your focus in the right place ask yourself the following questions: When you imagine yourself at the end of your life looking back at what you've done, what will be the experiences and accomplishments that will have been most important to you? What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of relationships do you want to have? What do you want people to remember about you? Use these personal values as the barometer upon which you compare, rather than the accomplishments of those around you.
It's A Losing Battle.
If comparing is how you evaluate your worth, you will always be losing. In this game of life you will never reach a point where you are better than others in every way and why would you want to be. Part of what makes life awesome and interesting is learning from the talents of others. Instead of trying to be as good as or better than others, focus your energy on being the very best version of yourself. So next time you catch yourself using someone else as a benchmark for your own worth stop and remind yourself how ineffective this strategy really is. Instead, compassionately redirect your energy and attention to your own goals and what is required to achieve them.
For more by Daniela Tempesta on the Huffington Post, click here.
Follow Daniela Tempesta, LCSW on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Tempestalcsw